humour
« Previous EntriesThe World, Alas
Sunday, October 18th, 2009The world, alas, is far too rushed to ever tell the truth.
Bislama Bons Mots
Sunday, May 31st, 2009In Bislama’s most common usage, the laughing, chaffing repartee that punctuates our daily exchanges, it’s good-natured, inventive and cheeky, strikingly similar to the bawdy discourse in a Dublin pub on any given Friday.
My point – and I do have one – is that visitors ignore the nuance and linguistic flair inherent in Vanuatu discourse at their peril. No one can truly say they understand Bislama until they’ve grasped its vividly metaphorical, highly contextual fluidity and made it their own.
Digicel Rolls out Mobile Internet Service
Saturday, April 11th, 2009[This week's Communications column for the Vanuatu Independent.]
Update for online readers: Digicel Vanuatu’s Manager for Commercial Operations did finally contact me, too late, alas, for the publication deadline, which had been pushed forward this week to accommodate the Good Friday holiday. We had a thorough discussion, and he cleared up a few things that were [...]
Pidgin Poetics
Saturday, March 7th, 2009Bislama is more than the sum of its words. People ignore this lesson at their peril. A poor Bislama speaker may be forgiven, but a poor listener suffers more than they know.
More than once, I’ve had to pull some well-meaning soul aside and explain that they can’t get another meeting with some functionary because they didn’t pay any attention to what they were told at the last one. Often enough, they’ll angrily retort that nothing important was said.
Vanuatu - The Missing Manual
Sunday, November 16th, 2008At a dinner party recently, I met a lovely young couple. Newly arrived in Vanuatu, I started into my standard ‘welcome to Vanuatu’ spiel, illustrating the many interesting ways Vanuatu differs from Westernised countries.
As always, there are things we forget to mention. After a few years living here, one begins to take for granted any number of Vanuatu’s mundane peculiarities. Here, for posterity’s sake, is a brief listing of things you need to know, but don’t get mentioned in the tourist literature….
Tales of the North Atlantic
Friday, October 17th, 2008[Originally published in the Vanuatu Daily Post’s Weekender Edition.]
Tawi blong mi;
I write to you from the enthralling, magical island of Manhattan. This jewel of the North Atlantic is a marvelous place. It is visited by all the races of the world. They are drawn by its legendary abundance and wealth. Here, one can achieve one’s [...]
Au Péché Mignon
Monday, April 14th, 2008[Editor's note: The author was afflicted at the time of writing with a pinched radial nerve, which has led to chronic pain in his right hand. As a result, he has left off his normal florid prose to write in the concise 'telegraphic prose' of the young Earnest Hemingway. We apologise for the inconvenience.]
[Editor's other [...]
Yahoo! Confirms MS Merger, Name Change
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008April 1, 2008
Sunnyvale, California
Yahoo! CEO Jerry Yang told reporters today that the board of directors of Yahoo! Inc. had met earlier that morning and agreed to the sale of the company at a price of USD 66.6 Billion. Yang took the opportunity to defuse speculation about what this move means for the company.
Said Yang, “Honestly, [...]
MEME: Bitsharks
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008I’m going to start blaming random network- and computer-related problems on Bitsharks. Get all my customers used to the idea of these predatory bots cruising the network, dining on people’s transmissions.
USER: “Why didn’t my email go through?”
ME: “Did you receive a failure message?”
USER: “No.”
ME: “Uhhh, you didn’t send it alone, did you?”
USER: “What do [...]
SMS From the Bislama
Friday, April 27th, 2007 SMS from the Bislama
GOODNIGHT TAWI SORRY
TO DISTURB I WANT
TO TELL YOU ONLY
THAT EVERYTHING IS
STRAIGHT
With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning